Sometimes life gets too complicated to find the words to explain every detail of what you're going through. I wish I could find those words… I love words. They give meaning to your heart's emotions and simultaneously liberate you from them. Lately, I've been struggling with words… mostly because I'm tired. I've grown weary and the fire that ignited my passion seems to be dimming. I need rejuvenation.
I remember feeling this way often during the first weeks of college. I would lock myself in my dorm for days, glued to the pages of my schoolwork. I was obsessed with the idea of working hard to get out of the hell hole I had somehow dug myself into. I remember my skin turning pale and my hands seeming lifeless from the hours I spent writing notes on the corners of my textbook pages. The arrangement of the dozens of post-it notes on my walls started to look something like an early Picasso painting. I needed a break, but somehow I could never give myself one.
Luckily, I made a great friend who seemed to always have the cure for this. She dragged me out of my hermit-like state and took me on my first 'college adventures' – parties, road trips, thirsty Thursdays, etc. Although she never told me to relax my ambitions, she taught me how to have fun and how to keep that fire going. I owe a lot of my sanity to her. I'm not saying that this is what college is all about, but it should be a substantial part of it… the ever-so cliché concept of F-U-N.
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