Look out for that signal

"Look out for that signal, when life as you know it ends."

I'm certain all of us have felt some kind of striking epiphany at one point, be it grand or miniscule. It seems like suddenly, you hear a new ballad playing off of your life’s soundtrack and now, you’re skipping to some new beat. We always expect these types of enlightenment to bring us further along, towards something better.

We must be prepared to learn that life isn’t as beautifully romantic as it is in movies. Life isn’t black and white and no one can really dictate the script to you as it was meant to be played out. When you run off to college, you expect big things – like the excitement of living on your own. I was… for about three days.

I was heading back to my freshman dorm after my third day of class and my ID wasn’t functioning properly. My Resident Assistant (RA) told me to head over to the building across the green lawn to figure out what the problem was. The people at this building told me nothing was wrong with my card. I headed back to my dorm and suddenly I realized my bag full of books left a mark on my bare shoulder. I guess I hadn’t noticed how heavy they were starting to feel. Then I reached my dorm once more and relayed the message. This time another RA told me that I was sent to the wrong building and that I needed to go to the office that handled Student Accounts. Student Accounts?! That didn’t seem right, but I went anyway.

As I walked out of my building for the second time, denied entry for the second time, I noticed that the sun started fading. I thought to myself, maybe it’s starting to get darker, since the fall is coming. I reached the office and there was a line almost reaching the door. I waited on this line for an hour and a half. I finally reached the front of the line and explained my situation. The person at the other side of the desk snapped at me and said, “Well you are being locked out of your dorm because you have failed to pay an outstanding balance of $15,000.” I’m a pretty tan person, but I promise you, after I heard $15,000… I turned pale as a ghost. I pleaded with her to explain further how this happened and how I could go about to correct this obviously erroneous calculation. She said… “Well there’s really nothing we can do until you pay your balance and our offices are closing in half an hour.” I was dumbfounded.

I started tearing up. Embarrassed, I ran outside. It was pouring. “Really?,” I thought, “Is this really my life movie right now?” I marched back inside to the front of the line and said, “Excuse me, but this just doesn’t seem right. I had no notification of this outstanding balance and being that this is a Christian institution, I would hope that the staff supporting it would be kinder to help me out. I just turned 18 years old three months ago, I just moved away from home 3 day ago!” The woman was unmoved by my monologue. She simply glanced back annoyed and replied, “Well there’s really nothing I can do to help you. I’m leaving at 6:30.” Wow was it really 6:30? I got out of class 4 hours ago. That was the last straw. I called my parents.

After what was probably 15 minutes of my mother bashing through this administration, I received a ride back to my dorm, escorted by security, bypassing all those incompetent people, and marched right upstairs to my friend’s room and said, “I’m leaving this school.”

Life as I knew had ended even before it really began. I can’t explain how I knew that the rest of the year would only escalate with drama. All I really remember was feeling like it wasn’t the right place to live out the next 4 years of my life. So remember to look out for that signal… when life as you know it… ends.

Because of You - Ne-Yo

I remember that song and I suddenly I’m a little younger and a lot less jaded by the world. And in a FLASH, that song that brings me back to a time when I felt truly myself and happy. To this day, it still comforts me… the memories of how we used to dance, to laugh, and to love life just that much more than yesterday.

I listen to that song now and slowly the rest of the world fades and I can fall asleep to sound of my heart beat. As I gently drift into that slumber, I think of them and I smile. And in that time between sleep and awake, I find a peaceful moment that could subside even the stormiest of my days.

When I hear this song, I remember my friends freshman year… my saving grace. They really did save me. Honestly, I’m sure that they don’t even realize how much their presence lifted me out of what could possibly be the worst, but maybe one of the best, years of my life. I am a different person forever because of these people.

Make your lifelong friends. Make those memories last, like an old song that you just want to jam out to every time you hear it on the radio. This bond will always bring you together. Regardless of where the walk of life may take you, you can always stroll back to those moments and smile together, remembering.

I promise you that college will be a trip; one that’s scary and exhilarating all at the same time. So while you’re on that long ride, you’re going to need some company… people to play games with you to pass the time, people to make jokes with you and about you, people to stop and to rest with you when you’re hungry at 2:00 AM, people to lean on when you start to feel tired, people to take over the steering wheel when you’re feeling overwhelmed, and people who will take you places that you thought you’d never go. On this long ride, I promise you that a great song will help along the way.