Be Thankful For You

To give much is to receive much, but remember to also give to yourself and of yourself. Give yourself the freedom to accomplish more and to take on bigger challenges. “Your playing small does not serve the world… And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

Letting my light shine in college appeared as a challenge that would be met easily, without falter. A student body of less than 5,000 people seemed unintimidating, statistically anyway. However, it only took 2 out of 5,000 people to shadow the campus I intended to illuminate. It was a regular day in class, in a building I went to almost every day, in a hallway where I walked every afternoon. Prior to meeting in the hallway, we were engaged in a heated political debate in class. To be honest, I can’t remember what it was about. All I can recall from that day was someone grabbing me by the arm and pulling me close to them as we left the classroom. I heard a deep voice say, “Try and say something to me again, bitch.” All I could hear come out of my voice was the sound of my heavy breathing. It was so loud that I didn’t quite catch what the second voice had said shortly after. I tried to pull away but the hand that grabbed me squeezed my arm and shoved me into a bench.

The next few days in class, I was afraid to look anyone in the eye. The next week in class, I was afraid to speak at all. The next month in class, I barely raised my hand. Then, one ordinary day, in that same, now intimidating classroom, my professor approached me. She spoke about the faith she had in me as a student, as a person. She quoted Marianne Williamson as I did at the beginning of this entry. She was the only professor I care to remember about at that university. She later wrote me a recommendation for acceptance at my current college. My professor reminded me to let myself shine, as I was meant to.

The fear instilled in me by those two students shortly faded and I started to speak again in class, as I used to. Still at times I find myself hesitant during controversial quarrels and topics. At times, I try to remain neutral out of that old suppressed fear, but I try to rise to the occasion, knowing that I have something to offer to the table. So always be yourself and give what you can of yourself to the world.

Be thankful for you.